Realizations

People say I think maturely for my age and I always agree with them. When I was a kid, I only settle for what is familiar. I only play with my cousins and siblings. Sometimes, I even play alone. I do not mind being alone as long as I am in my comfort zone because at a young age, I have been observing people. It was an instinct to stay away because people have the capacity to hurt you no matter how nice you are to them. I sometimes hate myself for being so afraid of so many things but this is something that is with me ever since I was born. I was born to observe, to be wise and to learn from others. Observers are wise and perfectionist… I used to be one.

So to welcome my 25th year, let me write a few wonderful things and lessons I learned at the age of 24…

1. Last year, I celebrated my birthday in Cambodia. That was my first ever out of the country birthday and my birthday week was so much fun! Sometimes, routines make life boring. At some point, you have to try something new and let life surprise you… May it be your birthday or not.

2. Also last year, I remember how dependent I was to my family. I could not go out of the house without them because going out of home on my own scare the living shit out of me. Yes, I was that sheltered. But that week in Cambodia, I faced my fears. After a tiring day of walking around the temples, I went home and changed into my biking clothes. I went to what I call “the road less traveled”. It is right behind the temples and you have to bike around the forest before reaching different temples. There are no homes, not much people around and it was quiet and eerie at the same time but the view is definitely spectacular! You’d even hear the wind whispering in your ear. (I stopped so many times because I thought fairies are trying to lure me so they can take me to their world lmao) Also, I have exceeded myself by biking for an hour or more. In a foreign soil… On my own… Yep, big achievement for little miss sheltered.

3. I used to be very picky when it comes to food but hey guys, You only live once! Eat that snake, have a taste of that scorpion. Life is so boring without trying something new and challenging, right?

4. This year, I lived in Singapore for a month. This is the very first time I bravely flew on my own and lived independently. I learned that there will come a time that help won’t come so you have to do something for yourself. That month, I got lost so many times but discovered so many wonderful places til I eventually found my way back home.

5. Sometimes, out of nowhere, life will surprise you and will let you meet your soulmate. The perfect person who will treat you like a queen, who will make you feel loved, who thinks exactly the same as you, and who will make everything feel right. You will be in the perfect love story… For a short period of time. Appreciate those moments because it is not every day that you get to meet someone who will make you feel like you FLEW IN LOVE. Yep, at the age of 24, I believe I met my soulmate. It probably did not last but our story felt like a once in a lifetime kind of love. I was in cloud 9. I flew in love, but I fell and got my heart greatly shattered but this is the first time I moved on gracefully because love is thinking about the person’s happiness more than yourself… even if it means it will completely shatter you.

6. Life and timing are such bitches but those are not enough reasons to give up. Keep moving because better things are coming. They always do.

7. No’s and failures are the best keys to find what is really meant for you. I never thought that today, I am doing something I love. Sooner, I will have the capability to make my dream a reality.

8. People will say something bad or make up stories about you. Stay kind. Forgive them.

9. People leave and it will hurt so freaking much but with all those pains are a lifetime of lessons and memories. The ache will go away but all the good things about the past? They will remain with you. And if they’re happy memories, they will surely put a smile on your face whenever you look back.

10. Tired of everything? Sit over a lake and go star gazing!

11. Take risks, fall in love again. Love deeply and hope that this time, you got it right.

12. A few months ago, I got a part time online job that made me learn more about other people. When I thought I give some people and their loved ones hope, it turned out they are the ones who give me more strength and hope with what I have gone through.

13. Just because someone is older than you does not mean they are right. However, stay kind. NO matter how difficult.

14. When the people you love leave, send them light and love and go on with your life.

15. Society kept pushing me to do something I don’t want to do. Does it make me happy? No. I’d like to think I was brave enough to stop thinking about what other people will say. For once, I followed my heart and chose to be happy. I am not always 100 percent happy but most of the time, I am because I am doing something I love.

16.  I dared myself to talk to strangers and I can’t believe how much I missed out on hearing inspiring stories from cab drivers and random strangers I should have met a long time ago.

17. Things won’t always go your way because God has a better plan for you. ALWAYS.